Desperate Time calls for Desperate Action

I missed the bus today! So initially I wanted to wait for the next one to come... But because I am having my 'monthly flow', so I hesitated as to whether should I wait or not as I feel really wet and heavy down there... And my freaking phone line, dunno what is wrong with it... I can't even receive or make any calls but able to receive sms and not send sms!!! I kept switching it on and off to detect the network but

"No network assess"

is what I kept seeing... So I waited for awhile and tried calling mummy again (about 10 missed called from her)... After a few trials, finally got through! So I asked ...

" Meee...Can I take cab home?"

Yes, I need to ask so that I could claim from her...hopefully?

So after her "Yes" sign, I went and select my cab. Yes, I do select the cab that I wanna take by judging the driver's look. Whenever I take a cab, I would always avoid scary looking ones and young ones of course! They just give me the creeps... Up to my spinal cord! Ah, so after selecting the cab... Like any typical passenger, I told him the location and guess what he said... You probably have notice by now that most cabs in Malaysia now, have this sign pasted on the door and the back of the driver's seat...

"This taxi runs by meters"

So have you guessed it?! I think most of you would have before I even mention about the sign... But I was shocked to hear that!

"RM 15 plus toll,"

" Tak jalan meter ke? (doesn't run on meter?)"

"Traffic jam tak jalan meter (meter does not run during jams)"

So I pointed at the sign he pasted there... But he said take it or leave it.... and I am DESPERATE!!! I don't wanna stain myself... in PUBLIC places some more! It's HUMILIATING!!! So I took it... its only 15 bucks inclusive of toll... so why not?

But seriously, in places such as KLCC, Time Square, Sunway and Subang... I doubt the cabs there would actually follow such rules! So what is the point of raising taxi fares when they are cheating our money this way already?

So to all tourist do not fall for their tricks!!! and also if you did...

Road Trip with My Broadband

Road trips... I love them especially if I’m taking Aeroline (travel bus). Mainly is because... they have plugs! I can’t really make noisy while boarding the bus, mainly due to the fact that I DON’T OWN the bus (it’s heaven, if I do)..hahahah...

The last road trip for me is towards Penang. The movie they showed on the bus... well, not to say boring but simply wasn’t to my liking! I prefer watching anime or maybe even surfing online while on the go... Especially with Twitter as the ‘heat’ social network... However, this obviously is IMPOSSIBLE cause they simply don’t have that service... So all I did throughout the trip is SLEEP and SLEEP and SLEEP!

But now... with the latest invention of mini portable modem, I so can do it!

See its this small and does not even take up much space... It doesn’t hang around in mid air while my laptop is on my lap instead of the small folder-able dining table...

If I use something like the one above, definitely it is gonna hang in mid air... How troublesome! Pen-drive look a-like portable modem is SO SO much better! Can even use it while in the toilet! Hahaha.....Project Alpha Season 2 is presented by Adidas Action 3 and supported by P1 and MAS

By the way here are the latest episodes of Project Alpha...

Guilty Pleasure Revisited

I haven’t done this for quite some time now. I really miss doing it so SO much! Gosh I almost forgot how enjoyable and relaxing this could be. Wondered why did I stopped doing it? Oh... it’s all coming back to me now... Haihz... Ever since CIMP, and now Psychology.... Assignments pilling up everyday... I’ve never been able to continue doing this!

I really enjoy reading a book while drink coffee. This is LIFE! This is how life should be... I miss my high school days. No worries back then, do just whatever, do not need to plan ahead of time, go out whenever I like, people watching at cafes and reading novels in Starbucks or Coffee Bean...

Ah... I finally revisited one of my pleasurable activities. I sat at Starbucks in the Borders, the Gardens with a cup of Cafe Latte and of course a book. Can never do without a book! I always have this imagination that where ever people go, they would always carry a book especially in cafes and beach. I don’t know why but this is what I like to do.

Now thinking back, I feel guilty for reading the book, by the way the book is Double Standards by Judith McNaught. The storyline is so nice, it’s set in the modern business society, where people would actually send spy to other’s office... and then BOOM, romance happens... then led to bed... then fight... then reconcile of course... Ahahaha... But I love her olden setting storyline better... More attraction and power... Ahahaha....

Oh, where was I?! Ah...yes, feeling guilty because of just only reading but not buying it.... I would wanna buy it though cuz I actually only scanned through the novel, not really reading reading. Haihz, how I wish I have the $ and also time, the most important one. Without time, possessing the book is like literarily asking me to say, ‘Please kill me’. I can’t stand not reading or rather finishing the book once I got it especially those that I really want and interested in...

But the guilty pleasure of mine today is satisfying for me at least for the time being... I still have two more reports, that I have no idea how to write, to write due this week! In addition to that, I have not start on the next essay which is due the week after this coming week! I feel like jumping down from the fourth floor!!! Like I’m hanging by a thread... a very fine one that can snap whenever!

My Dream Destination

Talking bout dream destination.... Mine is not only one but lots of places that I really wanted to go! Like...

1. Korea

In hope to bump into Dong Bang Shin Ki
and take picture and autograph and shake hand and
HUGS...

2. Japan

In hope to bump into DBSK especially Shim Chang Min
then ask for pictures...

3. Paris

I don't know why but I started to imagine Bolloywood team; the dance, singing, the guy and girl
started to roll on the grass, then suddenly one team of people appear out of
nowhere and started dancing...
Then change of scenery, the mountains, sea...
hahahaha

4. London

5. Australia

How much I wish I could travel to all these places. Not worrying about my assignments, finals, grades, next semester, money and etc. But just travel, meet new people, dissimilated into other cultures...

But one thing for sure, I'll never fly Air Asia! Mainly because it's very uncomfortable. How to survive long hours in plane, if the plane is very uncomfy... I would rather pay more for comfort...
Like Mas...though it's expensive, but for the comfy... Me will pay...

But then again it's all my dream... That's why it's called dream destination for a reason! haihz... So depress now! Project Alpha Season 2 is presented by Adidas Action 3 and supported by P1 and MAStraveller.com


Here is the latest update on Project Alpha...

Fun Random

Guess what we did in Social Psych lecture?! Nope, it's not the trust fall game.... OK, let me give you a hint, it's about reaction time... NOT Chemistry, definitely not!

It's actually the 7up game... The moment Dr. Priya got into the class, she immediately asked us to form a circle around the class. So all of us were like, as usual, LAZY since it's after lunch time. Reluctantly we got up and did what she asked or else, SHE WILL KILL US! It's her favourite line, "I'll kil....l you!".

'OK, listen! You will start counting numbers in order however, whenever there is a number 7, you will have to say 7up with your hand on your chest. Understand?'

Let the game begin, at first it was fun but after that our anxiety level got high cause she added, 'Now, you'll have to do the same with the number 7 and multiples of 7,'. And all of us were, 'AHHHH!!!'. My anxiety level is already super-duper high, with that she just heighten it! So after this, lots of people slowly got eliminated, some even without knowing the fact that they had just placed their hand on their chest when it's not 7... Yes, it's all in the mind...

Finally, left David, Ian (batch 10) and Tze Ching (batch 10). They will battle it out! Before the game started again, David said...

'I'm very scared,'

with a straight face, which meant no emotions.... Yup, he said it with a emotionless face, which doesn't portray fear at all...Us being us, David being David, burst out laughing loud... David is equal to randomness... So now, we have a AWESOMENESS and a RANDOMNESS... the best is both of them sits next to each other, side by side! See how they compliment each other...

AWESOMENESS + RANDOMNESS = AWESOMERANDOMNESS

Oh, did I tell you, we also have a BULLSHITTING QUEEN in our class... I think you guys know her well... Of course you do, it's none other than... LIN KAR YEE!!!! She is not only the QUEEN of SAMPATNESS but also newly crowned QUEEN of BULLSHITTING! Ahahhahahah.... She is so gonna sulk and kill me 2morrow, or at least when she reads this.. Yes, I love you, Kar Yee... Thought the feeling may not be mutual... and it's never been mutual.... Ok, I shall shut up now...

Oppppss..... Sorry, I just remembered it wasn't yesterday, it was on MONDAY! OMG, my memory is getting bad!!! What is wrong with me?! I can't seem to comprehend well these few days.... IS MY BRAIN AGING BEFORE ITS TIME?! AHhhhh....!!!!

With All My Heart

After taking a nice cool bath, I lay down on the couch and watched T.V. I switched to the only Korean channel on Astro and Music Bank was on. I saw 2 a.m.'s newest performance, After School, Girl Generation, 2Ne1 featuring Amerie and many more. But one particular group caught my eye and out of nowhere, my tears started to roll down slowly... Well, this is the group...

As you can, see this group is called D-NA. This if I'm not mistaken it's their debut single. Doesn't this remind you of anyone particular? Don't they at least sounded like someone? Try watching this...







Doesn't it sound familiar? Yup, it's DBSK. DBSK debuted at 26 December 2003 with the song HUG. The moment I listened to that group above, immediately I thought of DBSK... and I can't help but feel sad... Their slowly grow or rather maturing images plays like a movie in my head... I was think,


'My gosh, how much they have grown! I'm so glad that I found out about them through Rising Sun. Or else I would have miss the opportunity to actually listen to such good music,'.



D-NA look up to DBSK and strive to be like them; the 2nd DBSK... But little did they know that to all DBSK fans (Cassiopeia), there can only be one DBSK. No one would ever be like them. I am so sadden by the news of them stopping all their Japan activities. But to be honest I did blame them for being the puppet of SME. Just because SME told them not to keep in contact with the other three, they (CM and U-Know) followed. I mean, the matters between SME and the three of them (JaeJoong, Micky and Junsu) does not even concern the two of them. Why would they wanna be told what to do, at least in terms of who you can keep in touch with and who you could not, by SME? No one should tell them that at all! It's their freedom to be acquainted with whomsoever...This is the one thing I could seem to understand... Could someone please explain to me?


But whatever it is... I'll be waiting for them to come back as one, not like now... a group with two sub-groups... That is the sight I hated the most... I swear, if I ever see any of them, my first reaction would be slap them real nice and hard to wake them up...(I know lots of people will hate me for saying this, but it's really how I felt and still feel)


I really hope all of you well come back one day, where the constellation is... cause there is where all of us are waiting...



Just like the ending of With All My Heart,

Find US,
And WE will BE THERE for YOU.

P/S: To all Malaysian DBSK fans, on 1st May 2010 at 1 p.m. 8tv will be showing,

Legend of Star-DBSK

I SOoooo Love Uuuu, the Loaf HR Manager

Remember the Loaf HR Manager in my last post? Well, Kar Yee called her today and finally she picked up the phone! Guess what is her reaction?! Trust me it's so amazing til I wanna meet her in person to 'congratulate' her on her job. According to Kar Yee, this is what she said...


'I told you that I'm very busy with setting up a shop in Subang. I can't confirm the date and time with you now. I'll confirm with you tomorrow.'


The week before last she said this,


'I'm currently busy with the set up. However, if you are still interested I can schedule the date and time for you. Is it OK, if its on a weekend? Called me back to inform me your decision.'


So both Kar Yee and I talked about it and said nah, we'll let this pass. But she insisted that she can help us to schedule the appointments... So both of us trusted her... and wait...and wait..and wait... Finally, wait no more and started to call... But the manager was so busy til we are unable to get hold of her the whole of last week. Finally got her today!

Isn't she like the best HR Manager in the world?

I so admire her til I really wanted to meet her and ask her to teach me some of her skillfulness! This skill is something I could never learn til now, may be she may be able to help me get that concept this time! Gosh, just thinking bout it makes me feel so happy... I wonder what should return to her for her 'valuable and unforgettable lesson'? Like the saying goes,


'If people are nice to you, you must be super nice back at them,'!


Her call just made my day feel bright with sun shine! May be I should thank her personally... To whoever from the Loaf that read this post, your HR Manager is really capable. I could so understand why you hire her as your HR Manager...

Wanna know the best part? Because of her help, me and Kar Yee are so gonna score 15% full for our Job Analysis assignment! Aren't we glad for her help?

My Version of Grooming Tips

1. Open the closet and pick a dress

2. Brush hair till silky

3. Apply foundation, eye shadow, mascara, blusher, lip gloss; matching colours of course!

4. Then choose the perfect bag with matching accessories

5. Finally...Matching heels

6. One last check with the mirror

7. Ok..maybe longer stares

8. Set to go!

Guess what?! I simply do not do all these! Mainly it’s because I love sleeping and that I just don’t like to waste time like this. My morning routines are...

1. Brush teeth and take bath

2. Grab any clothing I see first

3. Pack my bag

4. Ready to go

These are my routine. I don’t even comb my hair; I don’t see the point as it would get messy anyway... Plus my hair will fall more if I comb more! I don’t want that at all!!! Moreover, I need to feed Cow (my dog) before I go...

But I have to admit that I do spray on some perfume and obviously also....

I can never leave the house at all without applying them!!! This is what keeps me fresh and good throughout the day!!!! Hahahaha.... To me as long as I smell good, I fine with not grooming like all typical girls... who have the effort and mood! I salute you guys...

For those that are like me...Go get one (Adidas Deodorant) now!

Project Alpha Season 2 is presented by Adidas Action 3 and supported by P1 and MAS.

Finally, the long awaited Project Alpha is out!!! Check it out here...

Success or Failure

I finally get to release my stress...

Stress, Stress go away

Come again another day,

Charis want to relax before the next ASSIGN.....MENTs!

I baked Matcha Cheesecake today... But... I don't know whether is it a success or failure?!

I've succeeded in baking normal flavoured cheesecake; lemon, orange and cheesy. It's my first time with Matcha (green tea). But I don't know why, the filling didn't harden up! Like freeze up at all, it's a bit watery... I'm so sad! I spent like 3 hours in total to bake it! And it failed!!! Why?!

So, I placed it into the freezer to frozen it up... That's the best if I wanna eat it! And guess what, it tasted like ice-cream dipped with biscuits... hahahaha...so this failure isn't so bad after all... at least I developed a way to make 'ice-cream' with the proper equipments...

I made a small version of the cake *sorry, forgotten to take pic before serving*.... It looked something like that...

So Sweet

I so miss doing this...

I just finished reading Bitter Sweet Cafe.... So sweet! If only I could bake as good as him... Seeing cakes makes me hungry... Green Tea Cheesecake!!! I want them!!! Anyway, read this manga if you have the time...

It started off by Megumi picking up a stranger named, Honda Yuuji from the streets. Megumi welcomed him to stay at his place after learning that he have no place to stay or go. And soon, Honda works as a pastry chef/waiter at Megumi's cafe. Honda soon realizes his love for Megumi when...

Wanna know more? Well, read the manga. No fun if I tell everything...hahaha...

Here is the link

http://www.mangafox.com/manga/bitter_sweet_cafe/

Bottom line is Honda is so so sweet!!!

Mount Kinabalu

Finally, one essay done! But... there are still lots to do!

1. Community Mental Health Workshop
2. Job Analysis Presentation and Report
3. Workshop Report
4. Developmental Essay
5. Social Experiment
6. Community Mental Health essay
7. VINELAND Report
8. Training Proposal

Haihz, still waiting for the Loaf to set the date and time. Say will reply, my goodness! Till now also haven't reply. Asked like last week, and till now also haven't get it done. The damn presentation is the next after this coming one! Guess what, so is the report! How am I gonna do so many stuff at once. Last week of April two assignments are due, and its so darn close... one on Wednesday, the other on Friday...

We only left with one week to carry out the interview and observation!!! If the Loaf does not reply, I think we might be asking Nuffnang... It will be interesting to see them work behind the scene. Oh, and Timonthy Tiah is coming to Sunway for a Career Talk... Everyone is invited, not only Sunway students...

I really hope that lady will reply us A.S.A.P. We are like really desperate here... She said ok, but need to set the date and time... Haihz, I hope we can get everything done... The workshop didn't attract any participants at all... To all Sunway students, if you guys are free, drop by foyer at 10.30 am. Topic is Conflict Resolution, its only a 45 minutes workshop. Please come if you are free... It would be a great help!

Birth to Growth and finally Death

After watching this in Community Mental Health lecture, I felt emotions that just can't be put into words...

This animation is about the life span of Lars Keagan; from childhood till old... Although no words are used to describe his life but with his drawings, lots was told. The whole entire video tells us what is his TREASURE in life... and that it should be the same for all of us...

Some of us are lucky to have this but there is also a small portion of the world's population craved for this. Do what you need to do before it is too late...

This video somehow told me this...

Friends come and go,
Pets come and go,
Boyfriend or girlfriend come and go,
Family members come and go,
But there is one thing will always last and be there,
As long as our generation lives,
The MEMORIES we built together will live.

No Strings Attached

Sunway University College. Doesn’t the name of this college sound nice? Everyone seems to have good impression on Sunway College. Hot girls! Rich and hot guys! Expensive cars! But ... in reality Sunway isn’t that fascinating. Yes, there are some hot girls, note it’s really only some. There are some facts that everyone should know:

1. 1. Guys here are not that hot.
2. Not everyone attend Sun-U is rich.
3. Stealing cases do happen within the campus.

But most of all, the facilities here are not that great! Parking lot is not big enough to sustain all the students. You have to park all the way near Sunway Hospital and walk to college. Every day is like a war; drivers are fighting for parking place! I personally don’t mind because I’m not driving... But what bother me the most is their Wi-Fi facility! It’s so freaking slow! Every time I have to wait for about 5-10 minutes just to load a single page; be it facebook, tweeter, blogspot or the library database sources... It’s super duper slow... Even when I’m not using the internet for like half an hour, I have to login and wait for another 5-10 minutes (morning) or 15-20 minutes (late afternoon)! See lar, wanna do work also can’t. Pay so much money for the services but the Wi-Fi sucks!

So to end my frustration I think I’m gonna get this...

This will take away my entire problem... I’M FEELING REALLY HAPPY NOW! Not to mention, I can also use it at home (since I’m really lazy to even walk to the modem and on it, so it save me the trouble), use while I’m on the go; be it in bus or car... Even in toilet (since it’s like a pen-drive)! Hahahaha.... just joking! Now, it’s so much more appealing!

Project Alpha Season 2 is presented by Adidas Action 3 and supported by P1 and MAS.

Please Be Mine

Suppose to do my assignment today; Social Psych Essay. But my uncle came by and invited us to go Tropicana City Mall with him and my cousin brothers. So ended up not finishing what I planned to finish today. I'm sort of a master of procrastination... Moreover, I've never been to Tropicana City Mall and I really wanted to go. So when reached there about 5 p.m.

I realised that there is nothing much to see there. Then, I found my eye candy! I walked by this entertainment store and saw...




TVXQ's Please Be Mine; Season 3!!! I was pratically staring at it... and with a smile of course! Then I went in to look for it; price browsing. While doing so, I saw pillows... with their faces on it; one is in blue and the one in pink. Yes, I stared at it for quite sometime before finally moving away...I wanted to take picture but then, I don't think they would allow me to. =(



I can't seem to find the dvd... So I asked the promoter and she brought it to me.... RM 205!!! It's expensive... I wondered if Korea would be cheaper? Well, grandma is going there... so asking her to check it out and if is cheaper buy it (of course with eng subs). Then the boss went on promoting this to me




He is tempting me too much!!! You have no idea how much well-power it took, for me to get out of the store?! But it's too expensive, and I currently do not have the money... Haihz... I want them!!! >_<



After all that, we went to...

*Sushi Tei*

*This is the interior*

It's been decades since I've eaten sushi! I've been craving for it lately, at odd hours some more! Finally... Whenever I go to a Japanese restaurant, I would always order Zaru Soba; without fail! It's my favourite dish and I am never tired of it... It's so delicious, better than Sushi King...

*Top left: Zaru Soba (RM 9.90)
Bottom right: Chicken Katsu Ramen (RM 13.80)*

*Top left: Forgot but its Cot fish (so nice and tender)
Top right: Terriyaki steak with Garlic (tender and sweet; RM 15.80)
Bottom left: Saba something (very smokey; RM 13.80)
Bottom right: Salmon Mentayaki (very creamy; RM 15.80)*


*Salmon The green plate cost bout RM 5.00 and
the other one cost about RM 10.00*
The white topping is actually mayonnaise, I never knew it goes well with Salmon!
Together with the sweet soy sauce, it's super delicious...

* I don't need to intro these two dishes right?*
I guess everyone is familiar with it


*Finally, we had two plates with only Salmon!
And it cost about RM 10 EACH!*

Then we came across something that reminds me of two person... not wait, three person!

* Can you guys see it clearly? The bedding I meant..*
I think Kar Yee (sampat), Awesomeness (Shahirah) and Ms. Janie
will recognise it. Like super well... just with one glance

Kar Yee, see the sign there?! 'SALE' hahaha... Kar Yee, will be surprise to see the bedding, then she will sulk, when she read the post! hahaha...


After that, we decided to go night market; somewhere near my my place (Hapy Garden). When I reached there, the second thing (1st: buy chicken for Cow) I did is... look for Aliza's 'Down With Love' dvd. As I was contempliting whether to buy ori or privated dvd (ori got expensive), the guy just said,


'It's time to pack,'.


So, obviously I walk away a.s.a.p. I don't wanna get caught by the police! I sms-ed Aliza to tell her, guess what's her reply? I was so speechless when I read it... like really!


'Why is there a raid?'


Thats her question! So I replied by telling her to call the police and ask them. Since they are the only ones, who are able to answer her question! Aliza, I can't believe you actually asked me that!


The night ended with me and my family seeing a police car rushing through a red light. The police car was actually slowing down when it turned red but don't know why, he decided to step on it... I guess it is right, policemen are somehow the lawmakers too...

Shocking Psychologist with inverted brackets

Oh my god! IO tutorial ended with a shock news! Dr. Priya shown us a sample of fraud resume. That fella wrote his resume in such as unorganized way; his qualifications and educations are all listed from the least important to the most important including unnecessary information too... In his resume, he claimed that he was a certified thing and that; in the psychology industry. All of us was paying attention up to a certain point but then tuned out cause it was too long, four pages of fabrication! And the most amazing thing is that he is able to specialize in all these field at the same time! From Malaysia -> America -> Singapore -> UK and finally back to Malaysia!

At first we all thought that it was just some random internet sample resume... But it turns out to be a real one!!! He actually applied for a position with our department; Department of Psychology! So after lots of digging has been done, we found that he is indeed a registered member (graduate status) of the British Psychologist Association? Something like that lar...

Gosh! He bended the true too much (a nice replacement of 'white lie')! He even own a Psychology Centre in Taman Desa, Old Klang Road!!! His workers are all somewhat unqualified... But I have no idea how he managed to survive! Even the Malaysian Mental Health Association kicked him out! Announced in newspaper! But yet people still go for his service!!! Haihz, may be these people did not know!

Anyhow, I hope through this post, Malaysian will not seek for his service... Head over to Kar Yee's blog... She posted something similar... http:winter-romance.blogspot.com

The Morning Post

Quarreled with my sister just now. I asked her politely to place back the stand fan but she ignored me and continue to sleep (she is not asleep). So I waited and waited and wait... then asked her again, and twice after that. Still she behaved so! Of course I'm fucking angry! So I raised my voice and yet she did not fucking bothered! What the hell?! She used the stand fan and just fucking leave it for me to place it back for her. I've did that a couple of times but I had enough of it!

I screamed at her and she have the nerves to say, 'Then why didn't you feed your dog before you leave? Why must Mama (grandma) do it for you?! Don't you dare say anything if your acting the same!'. FUCK her! I don't have enough time to do so! She fucking think that I love troubling a 70+ year old lady! If I have the time I would do so, but my dog does not eat that early in the morning! This she know fucking well, and still she fucking ask! Before Mama came staying with us, I practically had to pursue Cow to eat for a long time before he finally eat his food.

It's not like she did not take care of Cow before! I am fucking fed up with her annoying behaviour! Doing things dilly dally... Does not give a shit about people's feelings only HERS is; like the world is only her! Bullshit studying business management! Can't even fucking manage your personal affairs properly, wanna manage a business?! So I shouted to her, if she does not wanna put it back, then sleep outside the room! Yes, I am kicking her out of the room!

My super duper nice mom, came and said, 'What is wrong with you?! It's midnight. Who do you think you are? Is this your house?' . Automatically, she puts the blame on me, everything single thing is my fault! She didn't even bother to ask what is happening! This is so typical of her! Never she tries to understand the situation. When I tell her, she just stared at me and walked away. What the hell is that?! My grandma had to stick her feet in! Started blaming me for creating this scene...

I got really mad, so I started my sarcasms system was activated. This is precisely what I said,

'Yes, every single thing is my fault. It's ok to blame it on me... Its not like the first time, everything that has gone wrong between us (siblings) is definitely my fault! They are right, I am definitely wrong!'.

Then I was like fuck it! And went to bed...

We were asked to answer this question 'Are you a mentally healthy child?' in Mental Health Community lecture yesterday. I actually answered, yes... but now, I don't think so... Their treatment toward me is the reason why I have very low self esteem. I feel like I was never good enough for them; never meet their expectations. Like I was never the daughter they wanted...

Sometime I wonder, am I my mother's daughter. Not only the fact that my personality and behaviours are so different from hers; we are nothing alike except the face! Does she hate me for something? As a child, I was never once praised by her or my dad; not even when I scored really well in my exams. I got like 5As for PMR and 'Ok.' was all she said. Even for SPM; 5As and 5Bs, they never said anything at all. They know I am very disappointed with my results but yet they don't seem to bother; it's almost like they are ignorant. I fucking cried when I knew my results.

Why do parents like to compare their kids' results with others? Why can't they just be contented with their child's progress? Don't they know that their child's intelligence is partially their gens and it's also how they help to develop their child's intelligence at a young age? Besides education. I tend to talk blunt, but its like I wanted to. I've tried to change that weakness of mine but I find it hard to do so... If you do not like it at all, all you have to do is walk away!

I didn't force you to listen; I'm just stating my opinion towards a certain subject that I'm asked by your sister in-laws! If your sister in-laws are trying discourage me, of course I would fight back. If they are not nice to me, why would I be nice to them? If they talk sarcastic with me, I'll talk back sarcasm to them. They 'invited' me not the other way round. I know I could just ignored it, but I just can't cause it's not true and it does not sound nice at all! Do you how hard is it for me to control my temper; like the real me!