Shock of My Life

Yes... continuation from yesterday's post.

Gladly I went to Brain and Behaviour tutorial today... As usual, did review questions, discussion and then finally got my social report back.... Then I proceeded with my question about my research. Just when we; Aliza and I were about to leave,

"Miss, why did you group us up like that?" asked Aliza.

"Well, got no other way. Some people needed to a push," she answered.

"But Miss, not all people can be pushed! Like the people I worked with. Kenny and Rose, well, Rose is on the fence kinda person, so she follows what Kenny says. But that Kenny...OMG, she loves to argue! Like last week, she just sat down, not to mention was late for meeting, and started to bombard me! Saying that I was a control freak and make every decision without asking for their opinion. But the thing is she didn't even gave me a chance to explain to her what was my PLAN or what was I DOING! She just started to bombard me without LISTENING! and Since the first meeting, we've decided to meet every Wednesday, 1 p.m. but she told me she got doctor's appointment yesterday and guess where I saw her?! Pyramid.... Yup, doctor's appointment," I blurred out.

When I was about to leave, Kenny came right up and...

"Alex just dropped B&B."

My attention was shifted towards Dr. Priya, my heart literally stopped! As if someone just banged me with a car, followed by a truck and finally the hit me with a tank. Army tank!!! At that moment, I really hope it wasn't true. Alex was the only one I can depend on to get things done and understand what am I actually saying! Now.... I can't even imagine! I walked out to Aliza and told her the whole news and my tears just won't stop!

Kenny saw and was like don't cry. I'll come after class... I was like thinking, you're the last person on earth I ever wanted to see, what more rely on! At that moment, I really don't want to see her. I felt like telling her that, 'its because now that I'm stuck with you, that's why I'm crying!'. 

Wiped my tears, since I still have one more tutorial; personality... So I went there, left my things and unconsciously, went to the other row and sat next to Aliza. At that moment I really don't want to be alone, it doesn't feel like reality for me. It's like I'm in a nightmare that I would not be able to wake up! When Vicky asked bout my condition... that's it. My tears started to flow, though I really wanna control it. 

But because of these pathetic tears of mine, I saw another side of my course-mates or rather my Psycho friends. It's the first time, I saw their concern over me... they were practically telling me not to worry and would help. Knowing that I could not possibly accept that kind of offer, I chose to believe it. Only for today, I wanna believe that. 

Nevertheless, I wanna work hard for my assignments even if everything is against me at the moment. And I do really blame the PERSON up there. Does HE really hate me that much?! But whatever it is, I'm glad that I have so many shoulders to cry on, when things gets difficult =)

GAMBATEH! I can do IT! I can make it through! But first I need sleep, my head hurts really bad... and yet I'm amazed at my ability to blog at this state. I just need to get it out. Once I'm done, I will be ok! Plus, when I reached home.... I saw TVXQ's Share the World... It made me feel so much better! If they can work and obtain the success they have now... SO CAN I!